Elephants are self-aware ... you'd wonder about some humans though!

Elephants are self-aware. At least, they are, based on the findings of research conducted many years ago at Bronx Zoo with Asian elephants. According to the study, reported in LiveScience (1), the researchers using specially designed mirrors proved that elephants can indeed recognize their own reflections, something until then it was believed that only humans, apes, and to some extent dolphins could do. One of the results that surprised the researchers was just how quickly the elephants came to terms with their own image and began interacting with the mirror. They did not appear to mistake their reflections for strangers and try to greet them, as the researchers had suspected they might do. It is believed that this self-awareness contributes to the social complexity seen in elephant herds and could be linked to the empathy and concern for others in the group that they have been known to display. Even now, the researchers believe we know but a fraction about their true capacity for self-awareness.

You would really wonder about some humans though when it comes to their levels of self-awareness. Anyone who has ever watched a Reality TV show will know just how unaware some people are about who they are, and more importantly how they act. The behavior of some of the participants on these shows - even allowing for the editing for effect - is just beyond belief. Apart from the cringe factor, what is most amazing perhaps is that, after the event, many of them do not even realize what they did, or worse still think their behavior is somehow normal and acceptable. My money is on the elephants over some of that crowd when it comes to self-awareness, I have to say. Certainly, watching a family of elephants would be a lot more entertaining, and probably more educational, than having to sit through an episode of Love Island, that is for sure. And in the workplace some people can take lack of self-awareness to new heights as this video of former Microsoft CEO, Steve Ballmer shows (watch here). I mean seriously!

By now you have probably gathered that in this article I am focusing on self-awareness. One of the most common points people make to me during this COVID-19 lockdown is that stepping back from the day-to-day hullabaloo has given them time to think, to relfect, and that they are beginning to realise things about themselves that they either were unaware of previously, or conveniently brushed under the carpet. For sure, this break in our normal routine provides us all with a great opportunity to look at ourselves, not in a navel-gazing sense, but in attempt to better understand who we are and what motivates us.

Life, as they say, is a journey and success on that journey – whatever that means for you - necessitates continuous personal development which in turn requires you to face up to who you are – to acknowledge your strengths but also to highlight your shortcomings - and we all have them. In an influential article in Harvard Business Review Peter Drucker once wrote:

“Most people think they know what they are good at. They are usually wrong. More often, people know what they are not good at – and even then more people are wrong than right. And yet, a person can perform only from strength. One cannot build performance on weaknesses, let alone on something one cannot do at all. (2)

Focusing on self-awareness can be seen as a bit ‘hippy’ by some (anyone wanna buy a lava lamp?) but inside and outside of work I think it should be top of any list of ‘must-haves’, and especially so in these challenging times. When you possess high levels of self-awareness this means you can better identify what you are good at, but also where your areas for improvement lie. As a result of that understanding of self, you are then more likely to try to minimise the impact of your weaknesses and indeed work to eradicate them over time. In addition, a willingness to open up about areas where you feel you struggle, or even reaching out for help with them, can be misinterpreted by some as a sign of weakness, when in reality such action should always be seen as a strength.

Research, and indeed common sense, tells us that the most successful people in any walk of life have what could be called a unique selling point; they know themselves well, understand their behaviour patterns and, more importantly, they take proactive steps to manage how they act and behave. It is this action-orientation towards personal improvement, based on their self-awareness, that sets them apart.

Many moons ago I was introduced to a framework that I still find extremely valuable today in terms of building self-awareness. You will probably be familiar with it too and it is called the Johari Window. The model was developed by American psychologists Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in 1955 whilst they were researching group dynamics at the University of California, Los Angeles (3). It has since become a widely respected and applied framework in a variety of scenarios, from supporting self-analysis to exploring human interactions in general, as well as being a helpful tool for understanding the impact of communication on relationships. The Johari Window can also make sense of just how different top performers really are when it comes to truly knowing what makes them tick. It is particularly beneficial in that regard because it translates what is clearly a complex topic into relatively understandable terms.

The Johari Window, shown in the image below, consists of four panes or quadrants based on the interaction of what is known/unknown to self and what is known/unknown to others. When you think about it, there are aspects of your personality that you are open about and other elements that you tend to keep to yourself; at the same time, there are things that others see in you that you may not be aware of. The resulting matrix can help to explain human interactions and communication in general, but in this case I would like to explore it in the context of the importance of self-awareness.

The four panes denote (sorry, in the above example the four panes should look equal size):

• The Public Area, sometimes called the arena, or open area. This relates to information/feelings/behaviour about yourself that you are fully aware of, and that others also know about you. You are comfortable with the fact that others are aware of these things.

• The Blind Spot comprises information/feelings/behaviour about yourself that others are aware of, but about which you are unaware.

• The Hidden Area comprises information/feelings/behaviour that you know about yourself, but which you keep from others for various reasons.

• The Unknown Area comprises information/feelings/behaviour which both you and others are unaware of. This is the most complex area and might at one level include unknown talents or abilities, but it could also entail repressed or subconscious issues.

One of the important underlying assumptions associated with the Johari Window is that, as the public area between you and another person or persons becomes proportionately larger, the potential for positive and valuable relationships increases. Also, since the model is dynamic in nature, the panes within your window may change in size as a result of expansion or contraction of knowledge between you and others. In particular, the public area may be enlarged in one of two ways: when you open up to others, in an appropriate manner of course, about personal information that was previously unknown to them about you, this has the effect of reducing the hidden area. Alternatively, when you take the initiative to learn more about how others view you (i.e. search for feedback) this has the effect of reducing what was unknown to you, thereby decreasing your blind spot.

When you do make concerted and regular efforts to actively gather constructive feedback, and if you are also comfortable with disclosing information about yourself to others, then the combination of those facts would mean that your Johari Window might shift to look something like that shown in the figure below.

The combined effect of your openness to feedback and willingness to disclose to others reduces both your blind spot and hidden area; you therefore have a larger public area. This in turn leads to you having high self-awareness which means that you are not unconsciously behaving in ways which have a negative impact on others. Over time, you build up a very clear picture of where your strengths and areas for improvement lie and, as emphasised, you do something with that knowledge.

However, if you are less interested in, or comfortable with feedback, or if you do not have the same capacity to be open with others then your Johari Window might look something like this:

The consequences of having a small public area are twofold. First, your larger blind spot would mean that you lack self-awareness and simply do not recognise your failings, so your capacity for self-development is limited; and, as a result you would likely continue to do the same things that cause you to underperform across a number of dimensions. In other words, you keep blindly stumbling over the same obstacles time and time again because you do not learn from your mistakes. In addition, your larger hidden area, which results from an inability to really share and relate with others, would also mean that the relationships you forge were shallower and by nature less beneficial.

The Johari Window is undoubtedly more complex than summarised here, but this suffices for our purpose, and wherever you find yourself in terms of your current levels of self-awareness, recognise that there are a number of related forces at play which if not responded to can hold you back as a manager:

• In relation to work, employee expectations of their managers today are becoming increasingly more demanding and this trend is set to continue, COVID-19 or no COVID-19; it’s only through knowing and developing yourself that you can keep pace with those demands.

• Linked to this, the better companies have recognised the tangible and proven benefits of having truly engaged employees and this places signifi cant pressure

I will leave you with a real-world example of how poor self-awareness can be so damaging for some people.

After one of the many leadership courses that I have delivered to mid-career managers, one participant wrote ‘course was fine, but some of it was a bit too basic for me’ on her feedback form. Following up with her back in her office as part of ongoing coaching, she explained that the program lacked real impact for her as she already understood the basics. She was searching for something more ‘cutting edge to reflect her needs, as someone on the fast track’. Hmm.

Part of her coaching program involved me sitting down with her direct report employees to explore how they viewed her skills as a leader. Initially, there was a clear reluctance from her team to collectively give an open account of work life. There was lots of, ‘no everything’s fine’ or ‘she’s a good boss’ as they fidgeted and their eyes met the floor. But sure enough, during short individual sessions, the floodgates opened and quite a few in her team were very disillusioned by her. Yes, things had started brightly enough and when she first took over the team two years previously, and initially she seemed like a great leader, but in the words of one of her team ‘she only looks out for herself. We are not really that important unless she wants something’. The general theme was one of feeling undervalued and unimportant to her and that she could be quite condescending and sarcastic at times with people, particularly if they messed up.

There was regular communication, annual appraisals, and even team outings happening, so on paper she was doing many of the right things. But as another employee put it when referring to communicating with her ‘it all goes in one ear and out the other. Nothing ever changes’.

This is far from an isolated scenario of poor self-awareness in my experience. Here was someone who refused to even question her approach, even though structured feedback had highlighted similar issues for her many times previously. In giving her this feedback, which was received with only mildly concealed disdain I might add, it was clear that indeed it was all going in one ear and out the other. Ultimately, it is true that you cannot save people from themselves.

Self- confidence is a good thing, self-delusion is not.

Thanks for reading!

If you found the content of this article interesting, I have expanded on this and related topics in my book, 'The Essential Manager'. Click on the image to the left to purchase the book on Amazon, or if you'd like a signed copy you can purchase one directly on this site via our products page.

 References

[1] https://www.livescience.com/4272-elephant-awareness-mirrors-humans.html

[2] Drucker, “Managing Oneself ” (2005) January, Harvard Business Review, pp. 100–109.

[3] Luft and Ingham, “The Johari Window, A Graphic Model of Interpersonal Awareness” (UCLA 1955).